Caught In Between
by dyrex3098
Summary: Messer and Flack are having issues with the way their relationship is.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to CBS, I just borrow them when I need a writing inspiration.

Rated: T for language and implied slash

Author's notes: Please R&R constructive criticism, please don't be hateful.

Caught in Between

A friend is defined as two people who have an attachment to each other, or as one who gives assistance. A lover is defined as a person who has a sexual or romantic relationship with another. In order to have a romantic, or even sexual relationship with someone, there has to be some sort of attachment. There's a fine line between lovers and friends, and there's also a hole, a hole where someone is not quite a lover, but more than just a friend. That's where I'm standing. I'm standing at the crossroads between lovers and just friends, and only one person can make the decision of where I officially stand. Him.

Who is he you ask? Well, he is the one and only Donald Flack Jr. More importantly, HE is the love of my life, and somehow I got caught in between being his lover, or just his friend. Most days it doesn't make sense, but not much in life does make sense. College was definitely an experience, and experiment all in one, well for me at least. It was a once in a lifetime chance to discover who I was, and where I felt I stood in the world, and it also gave me the freedom to experiment with who I was as an individual. I experimented with girls, and yes I became rebellious, and experimented with guys. I thought once I graduated I knew exactly who I was, and where I felt I stood. I guess, my life wasn't figured out, and I learned that second I stepped in the New York Crime Lab and laid eyes on Don Flack for the very first time.

"You must be the new guy." His voice was heavily outfitted in typical New York style, and it rang in my ears for the rest of the day.

"Danny Messer, but most just call me Messer." I'm sure he could hear my voice quivering. I've never met anyone that had made me as nervous as he did.

"Messer it is. I'm Flack, I'm a detective over at NYPD, and work in conjunction with the Crime Lab. The building you are currently standing in." His voice echoed throughout my ears, I couldn't help but be entranced by his eyes.

He extended his hand out to me, and I grabbed in a handshake that lasted a little longer than it should have. His hands were warm, almost hot, and it sent sparks shooting through my body. Finally, he let go, and I shuddered at the loss of contact. He turned to walk away with a wink, a wink that still follows me around to this day.

But that was quite a number of years ago. 6 to be exact, even though it still feels like yesterday. We've both changed quite a bit since then, and have had a lot happen that has changed our relationship. For the most part we're closer, but still not where I would like to be. I like what we do, but I go deeper than that. I want substance in our friendship or relationship, or whatever we're calling it. I wish I could tell him these things, but I get scared. I'd rather stay where we're at over losing his friendship.

These are the kinds of things that I think about before I go to bed. The same kinds of things that make me feed into the temptation of calling him to come over. I always expect things to be different but it's the same thing every time. I want to cuddle with him, and some times I would just like him to stay the night. Although, kudos to him for giving me the illusion that he's staying the. He'll stay at least until I fall asleep, and be gone before dawn breaks. I wake up to the same empty feeling, each and every day.

"Messer?" My phone took me away from my thoughts, and I answered it without even bothering to look at who was calling.

"Danny, can I come over? Please? I want to talk to you." I was pretty skeptical at this. I know what it always leads too, and frankly I'm sick of it, I want more. But as always I gave in.

"Yeah man, you hungry?"

"A little bit, but don't worry about it."

I scrambled around trying to make my place look half decent. Although, what does it matter? He's seen it at it's worse. I don't think a clean place is going to make or break anything. Still, I do like to have a presentable house.

About 10 minutes later I heard a knock on my door and I knew it could only be him. I wanted to have this relationship with him, and I appreciate everything we had, but I just wasn't in the mood for it tonight. I wasn't ready to take this on, not in the emotional state I'm in. If he wanted a cheap fuck tonight he would have to look elsewhere.

I decided it was time to face judgment day, and open the door. When I opened it, I didn't see exactly what I was expecting. I saw a red-eyed Flack, and void of any emotion but heartbreak. It scared me to be truthful; I've never seen him like this.

"You gonna let me in, or just stare at me all fuckin' day?" His tone was bitter, and this was definitely unlike the man I know and love.

"Yeah, yeah. Come in man." I was trying to brush off the feeling that this was more than a "booty call".

He was moving sluggishly around my apartment, and I could tell that something was definitely on his mind. Knowing him, he wouldn't come out with it right away. This is the kind of time when he just needs to get out of his place, and this where he usually comes.

"Rangers game is on. Wanna watch it?" I was hoping that I could cheer him up, even if just for a little bit.

"No. Look, I didn't come here for small talk; I came here to tell you I love you." My heart probably skipped a good 10 beats. Donald Flack Jr. has never ever told me that he loves me.

"I don't know if you and I are on the same page, but this, this thing we got going isn't really working for me." It's always two steps forward and one step back with him.

"I'm really not sure if I'm understanding what you're getting' at." I was confused definitely, but Flack has an answer for everything

"What I'm sayin' Messer, is that I would like to try something different." He was speaking to me cryptically, and I was wondering how long he was actually going to take to get to the point.

"Flack, this cryptic bullshit isn't going to work anymore, it's not gettin' us anywhere. Please, just come out with what you want to say."

"Be patient with me, man. This is just hard for me as it is for you. Daniel Messer, I am in love with you. I want more than this shit we're doing. I want a relationship, and I want a life with you." I was finally beginning to get what I wanted for once.

"So are you asking me to be your boyfriend?"

"Yes, I think that is exactly what I'm asking." I could hear the ambivalence in his tone. It worried me a little bit, but to be honest I was nervous too.

I saw Flack's entire expression change. But it didn't bother me, not even a little because I knew I wasn't going to go to bed with false hope tonight. I wasn't going to wake up feeling empty, or terrible. I was going to have the man I love next to me. It was the start of something new, and something I always wanted.

"I love you too, Don Flack Jr. forever." Those were the last words I spoke as a man wanting to be loved by him. They were first words I spoke truthfully and freely, and as someone who finally got what I wanted.


End file.
